Two Minute Debrief Techniques in Crisis Counseling
Smile and introduce yourself, “Hi, I’m Toby – one of the Chaplains.”
The first question you ask is a fact question. This is a simple yes or no question. It doesn’t require any thought but it gets a safe conversation going. Easy fact questions might ask:
“How long have you lived here?”
“How long have you been on duty?”
“Are you from around these parts?”
“Are you missing a loved one?”
Getting the person to tell their story, even though you are a stranger, helps relieve the victim of a burden that aches to be shared and understood. Again it is a human mystery, but when a burdened is shared with another it is lessened in the teller.
The second question considers how the facts and the story are now impacting them. Just asking the obvious question, “How is this affecting you?” is a good starter. Keep the question in the present tense because you want to know what is going on right now. A
Asking it in the past tense, “How did this affect you?” puts the question outside this present moment. The better question moves the discussion from the outside/other person focus to the now inside/me position.
Their answer to the second question will tell you how they are coping with their traumatic experience. If they answer, “Oh, I’m doing okay”, I know they are coping through denial of their unspeakable pain. If they answer, “I am more concerned about my other relatives than me”; they are minimizing their trauma to cope.
All of these responses are God given ways to handle events that they were never designed to handle. I don’t chide them for their coping style. They need comfort, not correction.
Yet even my DNA cries out to say something. My pain reaches its excruciating peak when I realize there is nothing I can say. And whenever I do blurt out something it seems like arrogant pride (hubris). I want to bring healing, but that can come only from God gracious work. But the counselor in me aches to say or do something, anything!
The third question helps the person get back in head head. We humans don’t seem to be wired to stay in soul-extremis very long. Our primal instincts drive us out of such intense agony.
So the fourth question asks, “What do you need to do to take care of yourself?” The purpose of extreme pain is to prompt action. When the pain level is high enough, people will do something, sometimes anything, to get out of the horrible anxiety. Doing something helps reduce pain.
As a spiritual counselor I can ask if I may pray a blessing on the person or family. After making this offer to several hundred people, including New York City Police officers and Firefighters at Ground Zero, everyone is eager to receive it.
I tell them I will continue to pray for them. I ask if they have a church they attend and a pastor or priest they can talk to.
This whole conversation may have taken just 20 minutes or an hour. I have to admit, by this time in the session, I’m done. I feel like I have put in a full day and want to go home. I’m exhausted spiritually, mentally, and emotionally. So, what do I do next?